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2. Out of the womb

‘Iakati Hui Hanifian

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Abstract

This chapter was part of the Manahine panel during Talanoa Oceania

2008, where four women offered reflections on the theme Out of the

Womb: reflections on women and theology in the Pacific and Pacific

diaspora (unfortunately, the other presenters did not submit their

manuscripts for this publication).

In the early 1990’s Tongan theologian Sr Keiti Ann Kanongata’a

articulated a revolutionary theology from the perspective of Pacific

Island women, using the metaphor of birthing. Keiti Ann observed way

back then that Pacific women’s theology was in the process of birthing.

And she warned that “to stay forever in the womb would be fatal”.

Oceanian women’s theology is well and truly past the process of birthing

– or is it? Are Pacific women and theology out of the womb or is their

tendency to crawl back into the womb for safety? and if they are, how

well are we faring in the Pacific and Pacific diaspora? Are there gaps in

our experience or tales untold? This chapter engages those questions

from the experiences of young women.

Young women’s views

Before I get to the main topic of my talk I want to say thank you for

this opportunity to participate in raising the issues that young Pacific

women care about. This opportunity makes me feel more confident in

standing up for and supporting things which can help in liberating us

women in every aspect of life.

The issue that I am going to talk about relates to the question that

Manahine proposed: are the issues young women care about different

from the issues that affect women of the first generation? In addressing

this question I interviewed some young ladies from different locations

in the Pacific and elsewhere overseas with different backgrounds and

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different lifestyles. I did this because it is not fair that I use my own view

for my experience will not be the same as others.

In addressing this question, young women said, “Yes we do have

differences in the issues we care about compared with the issues of

the first generation women.” However, there are also issues on which

young women and first generation women stand together.

I am so sorry if young women raise issues which some of you may not

agree with but we have to share it honestly with the first generation

women and everyone. I apologise to non-Tongan cultures because I

was not able to get much information from the young women of every

Pacific Islands’ cultures. This research was mostly done on behalf of

the Tongan young women who are overseas and also back in Tonga.

It seems from the results of young women’s opinions that their traditional

culture is the main thing which affects most aspects of their lives. This

does not mean that every part of culture is negative., No; there are parts

which are helpful in shaping the values and life of young women.

1. Illegitimate pregnancy and loss of virginity

The first part of culture which affects young women’s life is the shame

of young women who are illegitimately pregnant or who have lost their

virginity before marriage. If a young lady gets herself into one of these

situations the parents, sisters and brothers are all shamed because of

what the people of the community may say toward their girl. In Tongan

culture and may be with others in the Pacific, it is really important for a

young woman to keep her virginity until the day she gets married. This

is really important and young women agree with this. But sometimes

some young girls make mistakes in their life and they end up in one of

these situations.

Tongan culture belittles these young women by saying that they are

not submissive to the parents, culture and Christian faith. There is no

thought in the Tongan culture to look at the situation from the side of

lady who got into trouble. Did she make a mistake in deciding to end up

like this because of anger or other reasons? Also people always think

negatively and blame the lady instead of the man. This makes the lady

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end up losing hope for their future, their value and confidence in the

midst of their own people.

Young women want to encourage Tongans and all Pacific people to

have open minds with these young women who are already in trouble.

No matter what trouble they get into, it is not the end of their life. They

do still have a life to live and they still need to gain their value and

confidence among their own community and culture. This does not

mean that illegitimate pregnancy and loosing virginity are supported by

young women. No, what young women want is to support, to love, to

help and to welcome the women who are already in these situations.

In the story of the adulterous woman (John 8:3-11), the Pharisees and

the teachers of the law brought the woman to Jesus and said that the

Law stipulates that they stone such women. But Jesus told these men

that if anyone of them is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone

at her. At the end, no one threw a stone on her because they have all

committed sins. The community treated her as an outsider and unclean

but Jesus saved her despite the seriousness of the sins she committed.

Jesus also disciplined the sinful lady by telling her to go and sin no more.

In this regard, young women who are trapped in bad situations need

the people of the community to do the same as Jesus offered to the

adulterous lady. This means to save and help them instead of treating

them as outcasts.

2. Arranged marriage

The next issue that young women are concerned about is the arranged

marriage which occurs in most of the Pacific cultures. This issue affects

the love life of the young Pacific women who are subjected to this.

Marriages are usually arranged by parents for a particular reason. For

example, the arranged husband may be from a very religious family or

from a rich family, or the arranged husband may be a citizen in overseas

country, and so on.

In Tonga, arranged marriages still happen these days and young women

believe that this kind of attitude affects their freedom to choose and plan

their own future. Some arranged marriages end up in divorce, domestic

violence and problems between the arranged couple, mainly because

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real love does not exist in arranged marriages. The main question young

women want to ask concerning this cultural issue is: should marriage

happen because of love or because of riches or some other reason?

King Saul (1 Sam 18:17) who was also a Father wanted to arrange for his

daughter Merab to marry David so that Saul could easily capture David

and kill him. This arranged marriage was not because of the couple’s

love but to fulfil the needs of the parent. In this regard, is an arranged

marriage still a good way if the reason is to satisfy the needs of the

parents?

3. Domesticating expectations

Another issue is the kitchen - is it only a place for women, or should

men be involved there too. We do not have to lie to our entire Pacific

culture that women’s place is the kitchen. In Tonga, cooking, washing

and cleaning are classified as women’s roles in the family. We do not

know who introduced this classification in our Tongan culture but it is

no longer suitable for life these days.

If a man does cooking, washing and cleaning in the Tongan families

most people say that this man is the servant or slave of the family.

Culture has not matched the men in the society with these roles or in

other words culture has put a hierarchy into gender. Young women

propose that both men and women should have equal rights in any type

of role and job in the society, family, church and government.

Placing women in the kitchen is just the same thing as tou‘a in the

Tongan culture. Tou‘a is the title of the young lady who serves the men

with their kava drink in the kava party. This type of cultural social activity

encourages the hierarchy because the tou‘a is the servant on men’s

behalf. Not only being subservient but also some men make jokes to the

tou‘a with sexual connotations. This sort of language reduces the value

and social confidence of young Pacific women. Most young women

think that it is time to end this kind of traditional role for young ladies

to act as tou‘a. Aren’t the men able to serve themselves in their kava

drinking? Can’t the men replace the women who have always played

the role in the kitchen?

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In the story of Martha and Mary when Jesus came to visit them in their

home, Martha was busy with hospitality (Luke 10:38-42). She cooked

and tried to serve the guest who was in their house - Jesus. In Tonga, if

a guest comes to your house the girls attend at the kitchen to cook and

serve the visitors. The men or the father will not get up and cook and

allow the wife or the mother to talk with the visitor. In the culture, if the

father goes and does the cooking and the wife sits and talks with the

visitor the wife seems disrespectful of her husband.

Back to Mary and Martha’s story, Martha can be seen as typical. She

does not want to do something different in her life instead of keeping to

the cultural hospitality. Mary is brave to live outside the cultural role of

women being in the kitchen and she sits together with Jesus and listens

to his story. Don’t cultural things sometimes make us miss what it is

most crucial in life?

4. Clothes

The last issue that concern the young women I consulted is clothes. In

our Pacific culture, we have our own traditional costume both for men

and women. In the Tongan culture, if women wear long or short pants

in public areas the traditional people’s view is that these girls are boys

because only boys are appropriate to wear long and short pants.

I remember when I was in Sia’atoutai Theological College, there were

rules for the clothes by women. Sometimes you need to wear things

according to the weather because it is always hot, but because of

culture the Theological ladies are suffocated in their long dress. In

order to gain respect from the people, especially if you were in the

Theological College, you had to wear traditional clothes everywhere

you go, even to the garden.

Young women believe that traditional clothes perspective should not

matter, for our heart is more crucial to be pure in the sight of God (Ps

24:4-5). Our physical appearance will decay one day but our spirit is

what God prefers. So, the classification of clothes in the traditional

culture is like keeping idols, from young women’s perspective.

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SOURCES:

Jione Havea

Editor

Authors

Apelu Tielu, ‘Epeli Taungäpeau, Eseta Waqabaca-Meneilly,

‘Iakati Hui-Hanifian, Ilaitia S. Tuwere, Jione Havea, Lynne Frith,

Näsili Vaka‘uta, Rosaline Uanivä Havea, Seforosa Carroll,

Misatauveve Dr. Melani Anae, Sela Mafi Taufa, Winston Halapua

National Library of New Zealand Cataloguing-in-Publication Data

Talanoa ripples across borders, cultures, disciplines /

Jione Havea … [et al.].

Includes bibliographical references.

ISBN 978-0-9864561-5-2

1. Folklore—Oceania. 2. Oceania—Social life and customs.

I. Havea, Jione, 1965- ll. Massey University. Office of the

Directorate Pasifika@Massey. lII. Title.

398.0995—dc 22

Publisher: Office of the Directorate Pasifika@Massey

Date: 17th August, 2010-08-20

Title: Talanoa ripples: Across Borders, Cultures, Disciplines...